Without Forgiveness, There's No Future
by Maestro4EvarMore
Summary: Based off of Taylor Swift's Back to December. Bella comes back to Forks, after giving up her record deal, to get Edward back, but will he accept her? NOT A SONGFIC! "Forgiveness means letting go of the past."
1. Chapter 1

**Kinda based off of Taylor Swift's Back to December. Bella becomes an international pop star. But when she realizes that's not what she wanted, she comes back to Forks, after giving up her record deal, to get Edward back, but will he accept her? NOT A SONGFIC!**

**A/N: I am not going to write the scene where she decides to give up Hollywood and move back home.  
**

_"I believe that being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can't truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles." _  
**Zig Ziglar **

As I got back into my mom's car, I thought how similar this was to the last time I left. Edward was watching from the sidewalk that separated our lawns. His eyes met mine, and I whipped my head away. He hurt me; he doesn't deserve to see me cry. The tears streaming down my face were blinding me.

"Bells, we're all packed. Are you sure about this?" My caring father, Charlie inquired.

"I couldn't be surer." I reply, glancing in Edward's direction, only to see that he's gone. My heart ripped in two. He didn't care anymore. I heard a knock on my window, and turned. Outside the window, I was shocked to see the whole Cullen family staring at me. The most surprising thing was their identical twisted, evil grins. Alice stepped forward and spoke.

"Enjoy your ride, _Bella_!" At that moment, they all shoved my car as hard as they could, into my swimming pool. I don't remember my pool ever being this deep! HELP!

I jolted out of my dream, successfully landing myself on the floor. A huge _thud_ resonated throughout the house. I heard two sets of footsteps rushing up the stairs. I got up, and as the door opened, I said, "I'm fine! I just rolled off the bed." My parents took one look at me, and started cracking up. I looked myself up and down, and found nothing funny.

"Why are you laughing!" I was seriously getting peeved here.

"Your… face….was…like…" Charlie said between laughs, "BLEH!" He made a hilarious face, and I started laughing too. The face looked somewhat shocked, and guilty.

After laughing our head off (figuratively not literally), we finished packing our clothes for Forks. We packed up the boxes into the moving truck, and said goodbye to the house, and the furniture (which we were leaving here), and set off on our way.

The hours in the car were pretty fun, in my family. We had soooo many games, that I didn't ever feel bored. We drove through the night, as the drive was about 20 hours long…

As we neared Forks, I started becoming nervous. What if Edward hates me? What if _all_ of my old friends hate me now? My thoughts slipped back to my dream this morning, and I shuddered.

I pushed all those bad thoughts out of my mind as I saw the sign welcoming us to Forks, Washington. I'm home.

We pulled up to our newly built house, I gaped like a fish. OH MY GOD, it's HUGE! We could've bought our old place back, but we decided, that since we had more money now (thanks to my singing), we should use it.

I went to bed early that night, after checking out my new house **(A/N: I'll describe the house in future chapters)**.

The next day, I got up and went through my morning routine. It's time for school. I'm so nervous, it's ridiculous. I can get up in front of thousands of strangers, and sing, but when it comes to public school, I'm terrified.

My parents were at their first day of work. I left around 7:45, so I would have time to get my schedule, before school starts. I got into my Koenigsegg CCR, and drove quickly to Forks High School. As I stepped out of the car, everyone was staring at me. And I mean _EVERYONE_. Even all the teachers were staring. I'm guessing the principle had kept my arrival a secret…

I headed over to the main office. I opened the door and heard the most beautiful sound in the world, _his_ voice. I ran my eyes over his whole body. He looked better than ever.

"Edward…" I gasped. He whirled around, and our eyes met. My memories did him no justice.

"Bella," His eyes narrowed. Oh great, he hates me. He walked past me, and out through the door. This was not a good start…

**Okay, I know, it's kinda fast paced. It will slow down, I promise. I just needed to get it to the exciting point! While writing, I listened to Back to December by Taylor Swift, and Home by Chris Daughtry. So tell me what you think!**

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	2. Chapter 2

**I want to thank all of you for your interest in my story. I was very honored by the amount of people who favored this story. This will be a very short chapter, because I'm a little tight on time. Well, enjoy!  
**

"_I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one_."  
**Henry Ward Beecher**

**_Last time:  
_**_"Edward…" I gasped. He whirled around, and our eyes met. My memories did him no justice.  
"Bella," His eyes narrowed. Oh great, he hates me. He walked past me, and out through the door. This was not a good start…_

I walked up to the woman sitting at the front desk, still in a daze from seeing Edward. The lady, whose name tag read 'Ms. Cope', was staring at me in the strangest of ways. I recognized that look. Oh no.

"Oh my! Are you Isabella Swan!" Her eyes were glistening with knowledge. I was not in the mood to have a fan pouncing on me, but of course, to get my schedule, I'd have to tell her. I took a deep breath in, and braced myself.

"That's me." I tried to smile, but I felt the grimace slip back to my face. Luckily, Ms. Cope was not the most observant one.

"My whole family are _huge_ fans of your music!" I almost pointed out her bad grammar, but decided to ignore it, for I had to get to class. I really didn't feel like being late on my first day. Anything to avoid more gossip. People can be so obtuse sometimes, especially obsessive teenagers. I sighed.

"That's very nice to hear. I came to get my schedule." I said, hinting that the conversation of my past life, are over.

"Oh, of course, sweetie." Ms. Cope started fumbling through her papers. She handed me two papers, and explained the schedule and school map to me, as if, just because I used to be an international pop star, I had no brain cells.

I left the main office, and started heading for building two. My first class was English. I ran to the building, and as I walked in, everyone was gaping like fish. I walked to the teacher's desk and he greeted me as if I were a normal girl. _Oh great, he's not a fan!_ But as I walk to my desk, I feel his gaze on my ass. My spirits drop. _Oh great, he's a freak…_ I sit down next to a pimply boy with black hair that looks like an oil slick. He seems like the chess club type.

"Hi, I'm Eric." He reached his hand out, obviously wanting me to shake it. This kid is strange. Most teenagers have lost the integrity of the handshake. I put my hand in his, and shook it.

"Bella" I replied.

"Oh, I know. I love your music." GOD, ANOTHER FAN! I hate being ogled; this is why I left Hollywood!

I sighed and turned towards the blackboard, as Mr. Kaemmerlen **(A/N: I'm not using the real names. I am picking random names, of random teachers I have had in the past. And this is also not a reflection of said teachers) **started class. Class was uneventful; I had already read the book they were working on, Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare. When I told the teacher this, he made me give him an overview of the book.

"_**Much Ado About Nothing**_ is a comedy by William Shakespeare about two pairs of lovers, Benedick and Beatrice, and Claudio and Hero. Benedick and Beatrice are engaged in a "merry war"; they both talk a mile a minute and proclaim their scorn for love, marriage, and each other. In contrast, Claudio and Hero are sweet young people who are rendered practically speechless by their love for one another." I continued, "By means of "noting" (which sounds the same as "nothing," and which is gossip, rumour, and overhearing), Benedick and Beatrice are tricked into confessing their love for each other, and Claudio is tricked into rejecting Hero at the altar. However, Dogberry, a Constable who is a master of malapropisms, discovers—unbeknownst to himself—the evil trickery of the villain, the bastard Don John. In the end, Don John is captured and everyone else joins in a dance celebrating the marriages of the two couples."

Mr. Kaemmerlen was shocked by my summary. I was very relieved when the bell rang.

Next, I had Government. I entered the classroom, and went up to the teacher. He recognized me, but he was pretty cool about it. He pointed where I should sit. I followed his finger with my eyes.

Oh. No!

**Ooooooo, a cliffhanger! I'll try to update STASAP (Sooner Than As Soon As Possible)! Bella and Edward's schedules are almost exactly as they were in Twilight. To see how I changed them, visit my profile. While writing this chapter, I listened to Outside Looking In by Jordan Pruitt, and Fences by Paramore. I almost forgot the disclaimers! I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT! The info on Much Ado About Nothing (one of my FAVE books) came from Wikipedia.  
**

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	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, sorry my updating has taken so long. I was sick for awhile, so I had PILES of backwork to make up at school. I love how many people have added this story to Story Alerts, but I'm kind of dissappointed in the number of reviews... I need more reviews; they give me a boost in ego! And, the more of an ego boost I get, the more I want to write ~wink wink~. Soo... back to the story!**

_It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. _

_**~William Blake, **__**Jerusalem**_

**Previously:  
**_"He pointed where I should sit. I followed his finger with my eyes.  
Oh. No!"_

That familiar bronze haired god, glares at me through his eyelashes. I cannot go over there! I look around the room, to see that there are no other empty seats. I sigh and make my way towards my death.

I keep my eyes down as I sit next to... HIM. I can see him glaring at me out of the corner of my eye, but I refuse to look up.

I didn't pay attention to anything that the teacher said, I was too busy trying to ignore Edward's gaze. The task was easier said than done... I want to stare into those emerald, green jewels he calls "eyes".

_When will this class end!_

The bell rings, and I release the breath, I didn't realize I was holding in.

I walk slowly out of the classroom, only to be met with those emeralds staring at me.

"We need to talk." His voice is even more attractive than I remember.

"Fine." I reply.

He leads me away from the rush of students trying to make it to their classes on time. We walk past several buildings, until we hit the forest.

_Where is he leading me!_

He steps into the forest, and I follow hesitantly. I don't think he recalls the extent of my clumsiness.

Suddenly, he stops, and turns to face me. We stare at eachother for what seems like hours.

"Why." He doesn't seem to be asking it, more like demanding.

"Well it's nice to see you too!" I add sarcastically.

"Why are you here, Bella!" I flinch at the tone of his voice.

"I'm done with fame. I'm sick of it. I thought that it was what I wanted... but... I was wrong." I drop my eyes to the ground. "And... I missed you." I admit sheepishly.

"You can't do this, Bella!"

"Do what?" I inquire, "Come back home?"

"No, you can't just come back, and expect me to have open arms. I'm not some sort of preist. I can't forgive everybody!" I'm shocked by his words.

"I... I never expected you to..." I hoped, but never expected.

"Can we go somelace, and talk. How 'bout the coffeehouse?" I ask hopefully.

"And skip school?"

"Hey, it's not like we haven't already learned this stuff, five years in a row." We laugh at the truth in mywords, and it releases some of the tension.

"Alright," He replied, "But I will not miss next hour. I need to be at music class."

I internally do my happy dance, and answer, "Perfect."

We walk to the only coffeehouse in town. It's a small place. It has a homey feel to it. The place is decorated like a Cafe that you might find in Paris. It has a small stage for live performances.

Edward and I make our way over to a table and sit down.

We get through the "How has your life/family been" conversation, without error. I duck away for a minute, to set up my plan.

I walk up on to stage, and all eyes are on me, as the music starts, I begin to sing.

**END OF STORY! JKJK, obvi. So what do you think, are you intruiged? I really need your reviews!**

**Maestro: **I OWN TWILIGHT!**  
Carlisle:** No you don't.**  
Maestro: **YES I DO!**  
Edward: **What's going on, I heard yelling.**  
Carlisle: **Maestro's in denial about not owning Twilight.  
**Maestro: **But I do! I DO own Twilight!**  
Alice: **Admit that you don't own Twilight, or I'll take you shopping!**  
Maestro:** ~Terrified~ I don't own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does. ~mumbles~ Darn, evil pixie.  
**Alice: ** WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!  
**Maestro: **~Terrified, again~ Nothing, I swear, I didn't mean it!  
**Alice:** That's what I thought.


	4. AN

**Hey, this isn't a new chapter. Sorry to disappoint you! I just wanted to say, I'm starting a new story. Don't worry, I'll keep writing this story too!**

**It's called An ****Anomalous Isolation. Anomalous is an adjective meaning ****deviating from normal, unusual**

**New Story: Based off of Sarah Dessen's book, Just Listen. Bella and Jessica had a major fallout over the summer. Everyone hates Bella now. Enter Edward and Alice. ALL HUMAN.**


	5. Chapter 4

**I am so sorry for not updating sooner. A lot has been going on lately. School is keeping me uber (yes, I just said uber) busy. Then, my birthday was on the 21****st****, so I went to America to see my family, celebrated Thanksgiving (I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH FOOD!), went to the mall on Friday, with my aunt, and my two cousins. And my cousin got arrested for shoplifting, so they brought us to the police department….. ~sigh~ I've been busy….. Well… ON WITH THE STORY (Oh and I decided on two quotes for this chapter, and couldn't decide…. So you get them both)!**

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

**Mahatma Gandhi**

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."

**~Lewis B. Smedes **

**Previously: **_  
__"I walk up on to stage, and all eyes are on me, as the music starts, I begin to sing."_

**(A/N: Song is Back to December by Taylor Swift. The singing is italicized, and her thoughts are bold) **

_I'm so glad you made time to see me  
How's life, tell me how's your family  
I haven't seen them in a while_

**And God, do I miss them!**_  
You've been good, busier than ever  
We small talk, work and the weather  
Your guard is up and I know why_

'Cause the last time you saw me  
Is still burned in the back of your mind  
You gave me roses and I left them there to die  
**And I regret every choice I made.**

_So this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I'd go back to December all the time  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right  
I go back to December, all the time_

These days I haven't been sleeping  
Staying up playing back myself leaving  
When your birthday passed and I didn't call

**I let my pride stand in the way of my love for him. **_  
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times  
I watched you laughing from the passenger side and,  
Realized I loved you in the fall  
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind  
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye_

So this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I'd go back to December all the time  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind  
I go back to December all the time

__**At this point I was crying.**_  
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right  
And how you held me in your arms that September night,  
The first time you ever saw me cry  
Maybe this is wishful thinking  
Probably mindless dreaming  
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right  
_

**Please Edward, hear me. Hear the feelings behind my words!**_  
I'd go back in time and change it but I can't  
So if the chain is on your door, I understand_

But this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I'd go back to December  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright  
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind  
I go back to December all the time  
All the time

The music ended, and everyone was cheering, except for the one person I wanted to. I got down off the stage, and walked slowly over to him, my eyes on the ground the whole time. We stood in silence for, what seemed like eternity, but were probably only a minute or two.

"I don't know what to say, Bells. I'd love to forgive you…" My heart dropped at his hesitation.

"But?" I looked up at Edward's green eyes.

"I don't think I'm strong enough. Forgiveness takes strength, and when you left, you took my strength with you. I'm not saying I will never forgive you… just… not now."

"I understand, Edward. Here," I handed him a small, black, rectangular stick, "Take this."

"What is it?" He inquired.

"It's a flash drive with the song on it. Please, listen to it again." He nodded.

He turned and walked out of the café, and I ran out the back door. The back door led to an alley, where I curled up on the ground, and began sobbing. I never really believed that Edward would forgive me, but I hoped. God knows, I hoped. I laid there sobbing for awhile. When I had the tears under control, I fixed my makeup, and looked at my cell phone. I only have five minutes to get to music class!

I gathered all of my stuff that fell out of my bag, and shoved it all back in. I ran off toward the school, and arrived at class, right as the bell rang. I sighed and walked toward the teacher.

"Ah, Miss. Swan, I presume." I didn't recognize this teacher, he must be new.

"Yes." I shook the hand he held out for me.

"As you are a new student, I am going to have to ask you to sing a song. It's regulation. Don't be nervous, everyone had to do this, right class?" The whole class yelled, "Yes, Mr. Best." He obviously had no idea who I was.

I nodded and went to the front of the classroom where the CD player was, and took this chance to look around the room. I spotted two people, I really didn't want to see right now.

Edward, and his twin sister Alice.

I decided to sing a little "blast from the past" for my two…. What do I call them…? Oh well, I guess I just call them Edward and Alice.

**(A/N: Song is Mean by Taylor Swift)**

_You, with your words like knives  
And swords and weapons that you use against me  
You, have knocked me off my feet again  
Got me feeling like a nothing_

You, with your voice like nails on a chalk board  
Calling me out when I'm wounded  
You, picking on the weaker man  
You can take me down with just one single blow

But you don't know  
What you don't know

Someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides  
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation  
You, have pointed out my flaws again  
As if I don't already see them

I walk with my head down  
Trying to block you out  
'Cause I never impress you  
I just want to feel okay again

I bet you got pushed around  
Somebody made you cold  
But the cycle ends right now  
'Cause you can't lead me down that road

And you don't know  
What you don't know

_Someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?_

And I can see you years from now in a bar  
Talking over a football game  
With that same big loud opinion  
But nobody's listening

Washed up and ranting  
About the same old bitter things  
Drunk and grumbling on about  
How I can't sing

But all you are is mean  
All you are is mean  
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life  
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

But someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah...  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?

Someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?

By the end of the song, Edward and Alice were cracking up. We had written that song for Tanya Denali in the 8th grade. We knew we were acting like children, which made it all the more enjoyable!

Looking at Alice and Edward's faces, all red from laughing, I realized, maybe forgiveness isn't too far away.

**YAY! Chapter done! I'm also going to go update An Anomalous Isolation soon, so go check it out!**

**Maestro: **Stephenie?

**Stephenie Meyer: **Yes, Maestro?

**Maestro: **I own Twilight, right?

**Edward: **Not this again!

**Carlisle: **Maestro, you don't own Twilight, you do own the plot of this Fan Fiction, though.

**Maestro: **NOOOO! I OWN TWILIGHT!

**Alice: **Don't you remember our conversation last time?

**Maestro: **~thinks back~ No! NO SHOPPING!

**Stephenie Meyer: **I'm sorry Maestro, but I own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, and Breaking Dawn.

**Maestro: **Dang it.


	6. AN Sorry!

**Sorry, this isn't an update. I know, you want more (which makes me feel soooo awesome), but I felt the need to tell you that I won't be able to post for a while.=( I have a school break in a week, which normally would constitute an update, except for the fact that I am getting surgery on the 23rd. Don't freak out, I'm not dying or anything. It's just a very minor surgery, but I will be in a lot of pain... and you do NOT want to read my writing when I'm in pain... ~shudders~**

**I would like to send out a special "thank you" to ****Lily CullenSalvatore. I've had so much support from her, and she's become a very good friend. I always feel happy when I see a message from you! Thank you =)**

**I will update, as soon as I am feeling better. Thank you all soo much for your support!**

-  
Maestro4EvarMore 


	7. Chapter 5

**I'M SOOOOOO SORRY; I HAVE NOT UPDATED IN THE LONGEST TIME! My surgery went great; I was out of school for about 3 weeks. When I got back to school, all my teachers were hounding on me for all of my work. I had to take 4 English tests, 3 Global History tests, 5 Physical Science quizzes, and 1 Integrated Algebra test. Well…. ON WITH CHAPTER 5!**

_"You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well."__  
_**~Lewis B. Smedes**

**APOV**

Omg, it's Bella. Bella! I've missed my life sized Barbie soooo much! I have to talk to her. Oh, and the song! I remember writing that for Tanya Denali- before we knew how amazing Bella was at singing. I _have to _talk to her! This is going to be a veeeeeerrrry looooooong class.

Bella got down from the little stage in the music room, and took the only available seat- right next to me! As she sat down, I was practically bouncing out of my chair, I was so excited.

I couldn't believe it when she and Edward broke up. I felt torn between the two. Whose side was I supposed to take- my best friend's, or my brother's. I chose Edward's… biggest mistake of my life; I've missed Bella waaaay too much!

Today, Mr. Best was teaching us about Mozart… again. He was going on and on about some dead guy; how does he find this interesting!

Bella seemed like she was off in her own little world when the teacher called on her."Isabella, when was Mozart born?"

Bella snapped back into reality, "The 27th of January, 1756." The teacher looked amazed at Bella's answer, and just turned back to the chalkboard.

The bell finally rang, and everyone simultaneously stood up and ran to the door. Bella was the first one out. I needed to see her. I was shoving past everyone, trying to reach Bella. When I finally got out; I spotted Bella down the hall walking hastily toward the courtyard.

"Bella!" My shouting made her jump. She slowly turned.

"Alice…?"

**BPOV**

I thought she hated me? Why is she smiling at me then?

_Because she's sorry for you. Maybe you should talk to her_, a voice in the back of my head said. I don't want her pity I yelled at the voice. _It's better than her hating you._ Of course I had to agree with the voice.

I was snapped out of it by a hand waving in front of my eyes. "Bella? Hello? You in there?" Alice's voice inquired.

"Sorry, I zoned out…" I spoke quietly.

"Yeah, I noticed," she stated simply. "So how have you been Belly?"

"Oh Alice! Really! Belly!" I haven't been called that in years!

"Yes! I will call you whatever I want to call you!"

"Alrighty then…?" I dropped it.

"Bella!" A familiar voice shouted.

**(A/N: Okay, I was going to end it there but I love you all too much!)**

"E- Edward…? I- I thought we weren't speaking?" Okay now he was really confusing me.

Hurt flashed across his face quicker than lightning, but I saw it. "We're not, you forgot this." He held out my songbook.

Horrified that I would leave said book behind I asked, "You didn't look in it did you? 'Cause if you did, I didn't mean a single word of any of them." All my songs were written about him. "I mean they weren't about you in particular; I just wrote them based on…"

Edward cut in with an amused stare, "I didn't read it. I would never invade someone's privacy like that."

I swear my swooning was almost audible. Every time I convince myself that I don't need to love him anymore, he says something like that. All of his words just show what a kind and considerate person he is. If only I could get him to like me back!

Edward and I had been staring at one another for what seemed like eternity, but was, in actuality, only as long as our passing period. The late bell rang, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Averting my eyes from Edward's strong gaze, I ran to catch up to Alice who was already headed to Lunch.

"Edward, aren't you coming?" Alice yelled behind her without looking back.

Edward didn't respond immediately. "Um… I have something to set up. I'll see you in Gym class."

'_Something to set up'_… I thought,_ 'that was vague'_. I looked at Alice, and she nodded in silent agreement. How she knew what I was thinking… I have no idea, but somehow I could just tell she did.

As I walked to the cafeteria, something occurred to me…. I hadn't seen the rest of the Cullen clan yet today. I froze in place, and Alice turned to see what the holdup was. This is not going to go well.

**Sorry, I know, it's not as long as you'd like it to be…. But oh well, cut me some slack, my computer died and I had to write this chapter **_**all over again**_**! **

_**BREAKING NEWS**_**: I'm looking for a Beta. If anyone is interested, please let me know.**

**Emmett: **Geez Maestro! What took you so long to update.  
**Maestro: **I got surgery, missed a crap load of school and had to make up the homewrork, _and_ my computer crashed!  
**Emmett: **Well that's still no excuse for not having me in the story yet!  
**Rosalie: **~smacks Emmett upside the head~ You're so insensitive! That's it! I'm not even stepping into our room for the next three weeks.  
**Emmett: **~wiggles eyebrows~ I'm okay with that.  
**Alice:** EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW! You're worse than Edward!  
**Maestro: **Since when does Edward have a sick, perverted side?  
**Tanya: **_I've _seen Edward's sick, perverted side.  
**Everybody: **TANYA, _GO AWAY!_


	8. Chapter 6

**OK, I KNOW IT'S BEEN LIKE TWO MONTHS AND I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY! Unfortunately, punctuality is not one of the many great idiosyncrasies I possess, plus for about a month it wouldn't let me post! On the bright side, I have some great songs in this chapter (yes, **_songs_**)!**

"There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love."  
**~Bryant H. McGill**

"You can't undo anything you've already done, but you can face up to it. You can tell the truth. You can seek forgiveness. And then let God do the rest."  
** ~Unknown**

**Previously: **"I froze in place, and Alice turned to see what the holdup was. This is not going to go well."

**BPOV**

Oh God…. Do the Cullen's hate me? Alice doesn't hate me… But Edward does, wouldn't everybody be on his side rather than mine? Why would they forgive me? I have no right to ask for forgiveness!

Alice was still staring at me questioningly. Her eyes yelled "What's wrong with you?"

I can't go in there, I just can't! "I- I… have to go!" I yanked my arm from her iron clad grip, "I'll talk to you tomorrow!" Next thing I knew, my legs were carrying me at a flying pace to the parking lot, and toward my beloved truck. I jumped into the front seat, roared up the engine, and drove home at a speed that Charlie would kill me for.

When I reached my house, no one was home, so I took advantage of this time, and went into my little recording studio in the basement. This was my favorite room in the whole house. The walls are clothed in a dark violet silk-like material, which was pinned into the wall about every square foot, which left the rest to hang gracefully down the length of the room. The floor was covered in a black Berber carpet that felt like heaven on my bare feet. The furniture is all black leather with white buttons. There were two couches, a loveseat, and a La-Z-Boy, all of which had cup holders built in. The rest of the room was, obviously, filled with the recording equipment and my instruments. I have a grand piano (it's purple!), and electric keyboard, an acoustic guitar, an electric guitar, a bass, a harp, a violin, and a cello. A lot, I know, but it was all necessary when I was in LA recording music.

I sat down at my piano and began letting out my frustration in the form of music. I wrote down the notes on a piece of sheet music, and recorded all of the instruments except for the piano.

After I was done with recording my instruments, I pulled a microphone over to the piano and began to play. The music was incredibly sweet. The intro was short, so I began to sing.

**(A/N: Song is I Will Be by Avril Lavigne. Sorry if the lyrics are a little wrong, I copied them off of a site. Link to song (erase spaces):** **http : / / www . youtube . com / watch?v = bv35oLyKkP8&feature = autoplay&list = WLBCD7231C43F09AD0&index = 1&playnext = 7)**

_There's nothing I could say to you  
Nothing I could ever do to make you see  
What you mean to me  
All the pain the tears I cried  
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you'd go  
I know I let you down but it's not like that now  
This time I'll never let you go_

I will be all that you want and get myself together  
Cause you keep me from falling apart  
All my life I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day and make everything OK

I thought that I had everything I didn't know what life could bring  
But now I see honestly  
You're the one thing I got right  
The only one I let inside  
Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me  
And if I let you down I'll turn it all around  
Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together  
Cause you keep me from falling apart  
All my life I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day and make everything OK

Cause without you I can't sleep  
I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave  
You're all I got  
You're all I want  
Yeah  
And without you I don't know what I'd do  
I could never ever live a day without you  
Here with me do you see you're all I need

And I will be all that you want and get myself together  
Cause you keep me from falling apart  
All my life (my life) I will be with you forever  
To get you through the day and make everything OK

I will be (I'll be) all that you want and get myself together  
Cause you keep me from falling apart  
And all my life you know I will be with you forever  
To get you through the day and make everything OK

As the final notes drifted to the end, I felt that I was being watched. Before I could flip out, I heard my mother's voice, "Bella, I know that you love him, honey, but you need to give him time. Your break up hurt him too. He needs time to learn how to forgive you."

"FORGIVE _ME_; ARE YOU KIDDING ME! AFTER WHAT HE _DID_ TO ME!" I screeched. "I thought my own mother is supposed to be on my side…" I mumbled, tears in my eyes.

"Oh, Bella, I don't mean it that way! You've already forgiven him; you have to seek forgiveness now. You have to own up to what you did too," She added with a stern look. I opened my mouth to question, but she quickly interrupted, "You left him, that is what you did wrong."

"But Mom, I already apologized for that. It didn't work; he still hates me"

"I'm sure he doesn't _hate_ you. He is just taking longer to heal. Give him time." With a wink and a smile she left the room.

"UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" I grunted and threw my head down on the piano. Notes sputtered out in fast disarray. That sparked an idea. I sat for the next three hours composing the most emotional song I had ever written.

When the song was finished, I texted Alice (yes, I still have her number in my phone) and told her to bring her family, including Edward, to the nearest bar in Seattle. I told my mother I was going out for a while, and I'd be back by curfew. When I arrived in Seattle, I noticed the Cullens over in the corner of the bar, and walked toward the stage. It was open mic night, perfect!

When I walked on stage, the whole bar burst into applause, even the Cullens.

"Hi everyone. I know people weren't expecting me to be here, but I have a song I need to sing… for a certain someone," I looked over and met Edward's eyes, "you know who you are… This is Beautiful Disaster."

I sat down at the piano and played the opening.

**(A/N: Song is Beautiful Disaster (Live) by Kelly Clarkson. Link:** **http : / / www . youtube . com / watch?v = MmcdK9IKZsY)**

_He drowns in his dreams  
An exquisite extreme I know  
He's as damned as he seems  
And more heaven than a heart could hold  
And if I try to save him  
My whole world would cave in  
It just ain't right  
Lord, it just ain't right_

Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
He's such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Lord, would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magic and myth  
As strong as what I believe  
A tragedy with  
More damage than a soul should see  
But do I try to change him  
So hard not to blame him  
Hold me tight  
Baby, hold me tight

Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
He's such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical  
But he's only happy hysterical  
I'm searching for some kind of miracle  
Waited so long  
Waited so long

He's soft to the touch  
But frayed at the end he breaks  
He's never enough  
And still he's more than I can take

Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
He's such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful  
Lord, he's so beautiful  
He's beautiful

The crowd erupted into cheer. I snuck a look over to Edward and did a double take. Were those, no they couldn't be, TEARS?

I walked off the stage and was nearly swarmed. Somehow, I maneuvered through the crowd and to the Cullen family.

"Hi…" Suddenly I was being attacked by a pixie.

"!"

"Alice! English! Please!" I gasped out of crushed lungs. "And can you please… stop. STRANGLING ME!"

Suddenly, she was flung out of the way, and a familiar pair of arms weaseled their way around my torso.

**Done! Hey, this chapter is longer than the last one! I'm really going to try harder to write more often! I'll go update Anomalous Isolation later this week. PLEASE REVIEW! **


	9. Author's Note

**Ok, please don't kill me! I know it's been like 4 months since I've updated, and believe me I feel horrible about it. This past couple of months has been really rough on me, and I haven't felt up to sitting down and writing. I had final exams, then I had mononucleosis, then my best friend with a serious eating disorder for the past two years died in a car crash with her brother and sister (drunk driver driving down the left side of the road for about 7 kilometers). It was her dream for me to be a writer, and I was heartbroken and lost, so I hid out in my room and gave up my dream of writing. I realize now that she wouldn't have wanted that, so I'm going to take the pain and use it as inspiration to keep writing… for her. So from here on out this story is dedicated to Nessie, my best friend. I love you, and I miss you. The next chapter will be up as soon as I finish it, which will be sometime this week, because I'm kinda busy getting ready for school to start. I hope I haven't lost everyone's interest, I could really use the feedback right now …**


	10. Chapter 7

**Aria (AKA Nessie) Greene, January 26 1996 - July 7, 2011. This is for you.**

"One can never truly forgive another, until they learn to forgive themselves."  
**~Ummm… me…?**

"Sometimes there is no one to blame. Sometimes fate just has other plans."  
**~Me again!**

**Previously: "**Suddenly, she was flung out of the way, and a familiar pair of arms weaseled their way around my torso."

If I thought Alice had a strangle hold, then Emmett's grip must've crushed every bone in my body. **(A/N: I know you were expecting Edward, but then again, so was I! Emmett just demanded to have an appearance!)** I tried to ask him politely (sure…. I was going to ask politely…. *cough*), but an odd noise came out instead. The noise was kind of a wheezy, squeak/cough.

"Emmett, give me a chance to hug her. You're crushing her." Jaspers voice came like a godsend as Emmett let go of me hastily. About to topple over, Jasper wrapped me in one of his famous brotherly hugs.

I was passed from body to body as my lungs tried their best to function properly after being crushed, deflated, punctured (by what I'm pretty sure are some broken ribs- my GOD Emmett has gotten strong!), and any other form of injury you can think of. Probably some you _can't _think of. Maybe some which haven't even been _discovered_ yet. How cool would _that_ be! Having some new injury that no one's ever heard of? Then again, if it was unknown, they probably wouldn't have any procedures to fix it… Ah, but how I digress. Each Cullen gave me a hug, the exception being _him_. He was just staring at me like he couldn't make up his mind about something.

"A penny for your thoughts?" I broke the silence that had awkwardly fallen between the two of us.

"Oh no, but I'll sell 'em for a dollar." Edward replied with that crooked, tongue in cheek grin.

"That would make a good lyric." I tried free styling for a minute (Not stalling, I swear… kinda…), "A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar. They're worth so much more after I'm a goner. And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing. Funny, when you're dead how people start listening" **(A/N: If I Die Young by The Band Perry)**

A few people around me clapped, one even handed me a tenner, and Alice squealed "I LOVE IT! You _HAVE _to finish it for me!"

"Alice, our ears!" Emmett whined. Everyone laughed at his pouty face, and I gave him a one armed, half-hug.

"So, Bella… That song…?" Edward's implied question hung thick in the air.

"I wrote it this afternoon. After," I cleared my throat, "After all that went down today at school." I looked pointedly at Edward, then dropped my gaze to the ground, noticing my watch in the process. "Oh gosh! I have to get back on stage, I promised one more song." As I ran toward the stage I yelled over my shoulder, "I'll be back in a minute."

Eh, I figure I sang the other two songs I wanted him to hear, why not a third.

**(A/N: When I Look at You by Miley Cyrus)  
**_Everybody needs inspiration,  
Everybody needs a song.  
A beautiful melody,  
When the night's so long.  
Cause there is no guarantee,  
That this life is easy._

Yeah when my world is falling apart.  
When there's no light to break up the dark,  
That's when I, I, I look at you.  
When the waves are flooding the shore,  
and I can't find my way home anymore.  
That's when I, I, I look at you.

When I look at you,  
I see forgiveness,  
I see the truth.  
You love me for who I am,  
Like the stars hold the moon,  
Right there where they belong.  
and I know im not alone.

Yeah when my world is falling apart,  
When there's no light to break up the dark,  
That's when I, I, I look at you.  
When the waves are flooding the shore,  
and I can't find my way home anymore,  
That's when I, I, I look at you.

You, appear just like a dream to me.  
Just like kaleidoscope colors,  
That cover me,  
All I need,  
Every breath that I breathe,  
Don't you know you're beautiful!

Yeah

When the waves are flooding the shore,  
and I can't find my way home anymore,  
That's when I, I, I look at you.  
I look at you, Yeah, Woah.

You, appear just like a dream to me.

**Ok, I know it's not as long as what I owe you, but I remembered in the middle of the night last night that I'm going to visit my grandma in two days. So, it was either a short chapter now and a short chapter in like a week or two or just one short chapter in 2 weeks. I will try to update An Anomalous Isolation right when I get back from Scotland.**

Maestro


	11. Sorry

**I know, it's been forever since I've posted, but the truth is, I've lost all inspiration for my stories… I don't even like Twilight anymore. So I'm sorry to say that I am discontinuing both of my stories: An Anomalous Isolation and Without Forgiveness, There's No Future. Please feel free to use either idea in a story of your own. Sorry.**

**I will however be starting a new story for Teen Titans (I'm a nerd, I know). It's called What Do You Mean we're at Wayne Manor! and it's a Robin x Raven fic. Summary: "In a fight with Dr. Light Robin begins to realize that he has feelings for Raven, more than a teammate. Does she like him back? Where is their GPS leading them? And how does Bruce Wayne fit into all this?" You should check it out. My writing has improved a lot since my Twilight days!**

**-  
Maestro4EvarMore**


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